Figured I would post this today instead of this weekend because... I'm going to Seattle! I've never really been, except to go to the Pacific Science Center (need to go again sometime) and to go through on my way to school. We're probably not going to do much up there except hang out in a coffee shop or two (it's Seattle--how couldn't I?) and chill at some friends' houses, but I'm looking forward to it nonetheless. A change from the ordinary is in order.
These last few days have been hot. We're talking upper 90's since Wednesday, and today and tomorrow were/will be in the 100's. Several of the horses got dehydrated (if they don't drink enough when it gets this hot, they don't feel well, and then they don't know to drink, so they get even worse) so we adjusted today's schedule to end an hour earlier than usual. Last night was Frontier Village night (sleeping under the stars) and it was really warm, as well. I stayed up for a while talking to Amp/Amanda (program director at the ranch) about life... frustrations and hopes, relationships (in her case) and would-be relationships (in mine). I also talked to another friend who will be joining the music program at my school in the fall about advising and classes. I don't think she realizes what she's in for as a music minor... I'm wishing her the best of luck with it, but I don't know if it's going to be the right fit for what she wants in her college career.
It made me think about my own seriousness about being a music/English major. When I tell people that's what I'm doing, I feel almost irresponsible. If I wanted to be in a profitable career, I would do something like engineering or teaching (public school) or something likewise that would lead to a nice, reliable paycheck. Instead, I'm doing something that will most likely put me as my own boss, deciding what I'm going to do day-to-day to pay the bills, and that may not always reward me with a proportionate amount of money to the amount of time I put into what I'm doing.
But I love doing what I'm doing right now at school... it's a lot of work, but it's so worth it for me. When I think about playing piano for the rest of my life as much as I do now, I'm not scared at all. I've been trying to get in an hour a day this week for my etude, and I'm thrilled at the progress I'm making--memorization is just flying by and it's exhilarating to think that I was responsible for that. I love making music and the process it takes to get to that point. I definitely feel that this is what I'm meant to do.
Also, I have no idea what else I would do without music. It's like imagining being an orphan. Your parents have been around since before you remember, so you can't comprehend a life without them in it. Piano is the same way for me. What would I be? A soccer player? Who knows.
Anyway. This week of campers has been fantastic. They really like me and I like them even more because of it... they are a fun bunch and they all have great attitudes. One fell off of her horse on Thursday (my first fallen camper of the summer) but was a great sport about it and, though she didn't ride for the rest of that day, she wanted to get back on the horse she fell off of today and ride her again. I was so proud of her. They are rambunctious and adorable and lovable... and they make my job easier. Though it's the end of the summer and I'm starting to feel the drag of week after hot week of standing in an arena teaching riding, this week has lifted my spirits and helped me to feel happier in general. I'm getting along with everyone... I'm laughing... I'm able to look on the bright side and not let myself become weighted down by the little troubles of the day.
Everyone got paid today and it struck me that I'll only have one paycheck left before the end of the summer. I clearly remember looking at my calendar in June and thinking that two and a half months were going to be the longest months of my life, that the weeks couldn't pass fast enough to get me back to school and back to my piano, my friends, my writing and being productive. Now it's almost over and I don't regret a thing; the lessons I've learned, friends I've made and re-made.... I can trust in ways I couldn't at the beginning of the summer, and I am incredibly empowered by that. No matter what happens at school this year, I will take that with me and remember it in the long, gloomy winter weeks when God seems far away and school seems overwhelming.
Next week: high school camp!
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