Loose Change

English is a fascinating language. Actually, all languages are fascinating, but I'm fluent in English, so that's the one I'm going to talk about now.

No, that's not a lead-in to a discussion of politician rhetoric or speeches or anything of the sort. I hate politics. I am pretty much apathetic about this whole election thing. Yes, I voted. No, I don't really care who wins either way. Is that terrible? Maybe. I have bigger fish to fry right now.

Many, many words in the English language have multiple different meanings that depend on the context they're placed in. Take "love." It seems simple on the outset: an expression of deep affection and/or devotion for something. But do you "love" your family the same way you "love" your significant other? What about ice cream? Or hiking? Or your favorite band? Or celebrities in magazines, movies, television? Your dog? Each of these things does something a little different for you, but you describe them all as "love." I've heard the argument that this cheapens the idea of love. To add yet another perspective to it, the Bible says that "God is love." In rejoinder to that, I've heard it explained that when you do things you "love"--visiting your friends, enjoying nature, playing music--you are experiencing God. So this one simple term splits into many different contextual meanings, but in the end it boils down again to just one thing.

Let's take a slightly different example: change. That stuff you get when you pay with cash, the handful of pennies, dimes, nickels, and quarters that you throw in your purse or pocket and haphazardly throw on top of the washer before you put your jeans in a few days later. Annoying, right? Why do candy bars have to be 99 cents? Wouldn't it make more sense to round up that one cent so you wouldn't have to deal with all those practically worthless little coins?
Then there's the broader sense, and probably the first one you thought of when you read the word. Change: a shift from the old to the new, nothing you can pin down but what is experienced in the difference between past and present. An effect. Something that some people embrace and others fear. Change is good when you're stuck, but bad when you're comfortable. Good when you're itching for escape, bad when you've got everything planned out and life throws a wrench in the works. Good when you're discovering who you are, bad when you're already established and people are counting on your old identity.

How are they connected? One's tangible, one's abstract. This is a tenuous link at best, you're thinking. You get change (monetary) from an exchange of goods. Hand over a dollar bill, get a candy bar plus a penny. Same monetary value as the dollar bill, but it's changed. (See what I did there? .....sorry. Hang on) Different. What do you do with the change? Put it in your pocket, probably, and forget about it. Eventually it makes itself into a jar or a can or whatever and you save it for a rainy day, forget about how you got it. "I blew a whole dollar on that candy," you think. "I could have saved that and used it on [insert common office/school supply here] right now." But you didn't spend a whole dollar, only 99 cents. And that penny will wait, patiently, with all the other coins until you count them and put them in your bank account to be spent again, exchanged again. There's an immediate change when you first submit your dollar to the grocery store cashier, but it doesn't stop there. Eventually the penny will be changed again in another exchange, maybe for a car or a house or a leash for your dog.

Essentially, however, you can't let it weigh you down. The penny's not going to do much good in your pocket, and it's not going to buy much until you combine it with all your other spare change. By itself, it's just a germ-ridden piece of copper with a dead president's face on it. It's how you use it that makes a difference.

Maybe you're one of those people, like me, who values having at least one constant in your life. You aren't one of those people who thrives on chaos and has to do something different every day. Sure, I like to get out and do new things, meet new people, go places I've never been; but if I don't have a constant to organize everything around, some certain thing that makes me feel comfortable and is always, reliably there, then I'm suddenly floundering and panicking and have nothing to hold onto. But change, inevitably, happens regardless of your constant. It doesn't care what you hold dearest, and it definitely doesn't care about letting you stay in your comfort zone. So what do you do with it--that unexpected, 'bad' change? Sweep it under the (mental) rug and pretend it never happened? Pretend that your current circumstance is exactly like your prior circumstance (denial) or that your prior circumstance was exactly like your current, changed circumstance (also denial, I suppose, though of a different variety)? Or do you embrace it, however hard that is?

I've opted to 'bank' my change for later. By itself, it doesn't do me any good. Some things have changed, I've been hurt, but holding onto it and dwelling on it is only going to hold me back. I've chosen to let it go and learn from it, and to let it store up with those other changes that will (of course) unfold in my life.

Someday, I might even invest them in something good.